| updateizzle |
[Jul. 13th, 2005|03:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | get it poppin( i saw fat joe at the airport) | ] |
wats really good peeps, havent updated in a while, so heres my life story. me and kim, done and over with.........we are kool friends. me and ashlie, well yeah u know. i just came back from the beach but i could only window shop cause im taken but it was still fun since my brothers came, oh yeah and i ordered burger king and publix brand soda at taco bell..... i'll put more when i get time, peace |
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| last will.......... since its going down the drain |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|07:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sapier's story | ] |
i just wanna put some names of people that i can see are fading away as friends and just thank them for the time we had because no matter how mad i m at them, i wont forgot the good times and as mad as i m , i wouldnt flick them off or pretend like u havent done anything 4 me.
JEN: im not really sure about our friendship because uve been acting weird lately but if u are mad at me, im sry and i like to thank u for those times like the movies when u helped me and figured out what i really wanted and sorta put a bright light on a very dark day. i tryed to listen to u as best as i could especially about that person u like.im really not that good of a spy though because i always forget stuff.yea but thanks for everything and if u still ever need something, i wouldn deny u of a favor because i know u would do the same thing fo me. watever happens, happens.
LISA: out of all people yesterday , im most disapointed in u cause i thought i was ur friend but it didnt seem like it. u know wat u said on the phone and that hurt like a ton of bricks because i thought u were better than that. i hadent even said one bad thing about u either. the oonly reason wat u said hurt about "bring rob , elmo but dont bring urself" is because i remeber when u got caught skipping, who was there 4 u. who was the person that u cryed on for so long, who was that person that comforted u and tryed to help when i didnt have 2. i was the person that said one day u wont be grounded just be patient.i was the one who said if u ever need a shoulder to cry on or a ear to listen, u could always borrow mine. u can deny everything ur reading but deep down u know it, i was there for u and u know its true. lisa....why?????!! u always said that u wouuld be there..... im sry if i hurt u anyway but u hurt me and i think u did it on purpose and it eats away at me after all ive done for u. u guys are so differnt around ur friends. u were the one who always said u listened to me more than i think. well listen to me now lisa. if anything bad happens, i leave u with our heat games, i leave with that day that u were so worryed about mr.broadbent kicking u out of guard, im still here, if u ever wanna talk.
CARPLINE: i dont want to hate u but my body dosent allow me to like u. sometimes i wanna say hi but my brain dosent let me. ur the only person i can never forgive. i know our friendship is nothing but hate now.......love and hate are closer than people think. theres only 1 thing i can do for us. u dont have to forgive me for the past because im not gonna forgive myself. the only hope 4 us is a new start. this is the only way that i dont have to forgive u and i dont have to hate u and stuff like that. thats all i can do for us. start over.... 8 months of our lifes never happened. the good times, the bad times, they never happened.its uup to u because im not afraid to lose friends because they come and go but it would hurt and my life is so good rite now its just the drama thatz pissing me off because in my whole life ive never had this problom.i just want it to be over with, everything, whether it ends in friends or not. dont let ur hate type back. let caroline type back. dont tyr to look kool in front of ur friends. just be urself.i leave u with that time u called me and i was cooking dinner and u were crying about a.j., i leave u with that time when u use to say babuska all the time and ur favorite color pink!!!watever happens i still love u and im not good at showing it, ask kim.....
DECKER: SEE D, theres not that big of a differnce between love and hate, wat use to be love is hate. im sry for being a crappy booyfriend. im sry for not apperciated u but we werent meant to be and u know that. arguing everyday isnt love, talking smack bout each other isnt love, love is 2 people working together to acheive the same thing, that my friend never happened. we alwaays wanted differnt things and i lost all confidece in u after a certain point, i'll tell u some other time. plus we just dont talk that well. i have much more to say but i leave u with nothing but a heartbreak becuase thats all i ever did for u. im sry for wasting 7 months of ur life. if i could give it back i would.
wow, really hard to see how we got to this day but it has come. i dont need enemys right now and never will. u guys have all helped me in the past and now its so diiffernt. if this is wat u want then fine but everyone knows they miss the old days and i could give it back except to kim cause the old days we were going out. its ur choice, ur mouths and ur actions will give me the answrs i need. peace |
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| just a litttle update... |
[Jun. 3rd, 2005|09:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | streetlight manifesto(thanks emilio) | ] |
boy yesterday was heckdic. let me tell u. so heres the thing....im going out with ashlie because i really like her but we hadent told any 1. so we decided to tell every 1 so we could be happier because im thinking well they are our friends they will understand......WRONG. well kim and lisa understood but caroline made a big deal and started yelling. i find thhat hilarious because she always calls me a drama queen when she is always the creator of drama. heres the truth for the world to read, I WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH KIM BECAUSE OF CAROLINE!!!!! yep i went there, i cant keep that to myself anymore. thats why i let her go so easily. when i asked to go ou with kim , i wasnt expecting to go out with two people. first we decided to tell lisa about me and ashlie and c-line walks over there like its her business. we told her to go away so we could talk privatly but she stood there and didnt leave. that hurt me, because when c-line had no one to talk 2 and when a.j. broke her heart , i had her back and she backstabs me. think before u do, ur hurting ur friends c-line. everyones catching on, maybe ur girlfriend kim will catch on 2 but everyone will find out the fake u are. i would still be going out with kim if it wasnt for u c-line. so if u wanna point the finger, point it at urself!!! kim breaks up with a.j. and thn c-lines all over him but thats ok but ashlie cant go out with me......right but c-line says that kim said it was ok but i asked kim a billlion times would she be ok if i asked someout out and she always said ok. so caroline, go fuck urself because im tired of ur drama and im not gonna let u fuck up another one of my relationships.i helped u with a.j. and i helped u with freddy, only the truth ad postive things out of my mouth and thats how u pay me back. i was ur friend, i trusted you, i thought we were good friends, but u have made it perfectly clear to me who not to trust. talk all the crap u want about me but everyone knows me and knows the good person i m. im happy now and im not gonna aloow u to take that away. not again, not this time. im not gonna pretend to like u because u broke my heart. ur a liar and a fake. hope u have fun with ur lonely life cause like i said before, im never gonna forgive because u always do the sae thing over and over again. god forbid c-lines not the center of attention one day. we might all die.......OMG. how long can u get away with ur crimes c-line, this might be ur last one. was it worth it? |
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| to my homies....rob,elmo,kim,c-line,ashlie,lisa,and so on |
[May. 27th, 2005|01:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  very hopeful | ] |
rob, i love u like a real brother, u have always been there for me and theres something about us that will never fade away. u are one of the funniest people i know but u need to have better manners. remeber to keep ur big mouth shut and hold on tp what u have and dont wry so much....
emilio, im so happy u moved here from atlanta because u and ur sister are family. the family i thought i could never have. u know ive always been there 4 u and u have nver done me wrong. i love u for that and u will always be my brother. i always got ur back and when i graduate im coming back for you.
kim kim kim, u run my emotions but how fast that have changed, u have the most to learn out of all of the people ive mentioned. im moving on faster then ive thought but i wont forgot u, ur still my buddy. just learn how to start a conversation, dont bring ur mood on ur boyfriends and to know that theres always 4 sure gonna be one person there for u and thats me. I love u and i wont forgot the lessons you've taught me and the good times and the many bad times. we will learn whats important to us in the future. till then take care of urself and be a leader not a follower. dont wry i'll still be in floor crew.....
carpline, i really dont know wat to say, sometimes i get the nice caroline and sometimes the nasty one. people call me two faced but looking at u kills me. u need to learn how to control ur emotions and learn whats important to you.u had a good friend in me and u lost it..... but u will always have kim and thats ur greatest flaw. u depend on opthers more thn urslef and when those people are gone, what are u gonna do? u say one thing and do the other. learn from ur mistakes and move on.. its all about moving on.
delucabitch, u are so damn annoying but i love u cause ur watch the heat games with me. u still dont listen to me but u will learn ur lesson the hard way. thats ur flaw , u dont listen, but u have greta friends and ur a great person and if u do whats right maybe u could get out of ur house.please stay out of trouble and freedom will come again. ok delucabitch..... everything will be kool, right now its bad but it can only get better.
ashlie, sarsour ur are one of the koolest people i know. i havent know you 4 that long but it feels like were best friends. remeber u gotaa give breathing space.....just a little bit..lol and go to 4th hr for once, hes a nice guy. ur more mature than u think sarsour and maybe u will move next to me and we can throw homework partys together....yeah........homework partys..."sigh". homework partys with a million people there. hopefully we will stay good friends and dont call star wars boring cause its the shizzy. o,plus sarsour ur mom is hott with a double t. if shes nt doing anything tonight.....j.k. are u really gonna try to sneak into banquet? when i first met u , i never thought we get this far cause i just thought u were plain up weird and u know wat im talking about not that that has changed. stay kool sarsour
whoever wnats one little thing written about them just leave a comment. peace |
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| im so confused |
[May. 24th, 2005|08:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lost and confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | espn music?(im watching espn) | ] |
yesterday was pretty awesome. i drove to wendys with lisa , rob, and elmo, then i drove them back too the school and rick asked if i wanted to go on an adventure and i said hell no being in a car with lisa, rob and emilio is enough but he wanted 2 drive fazus car home and i had to drive it back so i really didnt have a choice. so rick went to his house i droped of lisa at her house and then i went back to school where i had such a fun band practice i couldn't belive it. i love rob, hes the best person to sit next to in band!!!so im stuck here at home because my mom wont let me go to school. she is crazy , i tell my mom to take me to school and she says to get bak in my bed. i think its because ive been acting weird lately. maybe to happy for her, who knows, all i know is that that bitch is crazy. if u ask me how life is, it couldnt be better. except i really miss school.....odd. anywayz gotta a band concert tonight at 7 ,im excited mostly bout the jazz band. plus BANQUET is friday and im so nervous about seeing whos gonna get woodwind captain. there were a selcted few that told me ive changed mostly big people in my life but dont worry life is changing and im coming back. im a little mad at myself because if u know u could do something better and u dont have that chance again then u feel as if u didnt reach ur peek. But then again how was i gonna keep going if this girl ws asking me to take away the only think i have to offer to her. All i had to offer was love and to ask me to not but want the other things hurts. I have nothing else to offer to that girl and in good time i will get my chance again but when i do , will i care or not? well pass that subject, thanks to every 1 whoever stuck a hand out there 4 me because it was truly needed. so whoever wants to see me or the bands tonight should come at 7. i'll make it fun.......promise and once again im back to being a man of my word so dont count me out. fridays slowly crepping up, cant wait. party at my house, j.k. if there was no banquet then maybe. peace, love you guys |
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| STAR WARS |
[May. 21st, 2005|08:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
im going to see star wars thanks to robs dad, he's the best. i cant wait , its gonna be the shizzy. then lillian is gonna pick me up and were gonna go to kims house. blah blah, im very sad my brothers cant hang with me today. there both sick. hope u feel better. well i have to go and get my lightsabers, peace homies, |
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| this goes out 2........well u know who |
[May. 14th, 2005|01:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jason's mix(thankx to elmo) | ] |
see heres the thing. my life has never been so good and it all started 6 months ago. i need someone to understand how i feel.kim, theres no one that can make me feel like u do, whether it be good or bad. every time i look into ur eyes i see more than u, i see wat i have and how much i dont wanna lose it but at the same time i remeber im just a fuck up. im not and never will be a good enough boyfriend for u. like u say , i lie. the only truth i have to tell u is that i love u, and ur everything to me. yes i had a breaking point and it showed a few days ago, but why moan over it when the real problom never happened. maybe i was gonna do it but i didnt and thats all that matters. i just look at u and i know i want the best for u even if that dosent include me in ur life. Im happy with u not always but i try to be. i've never ignored so many people or turn down fun or turn down homework time so much 4 a person. i will always go out of the way 4 u, at the same time ur all talk and no action. yes i know u love me but theres ways of stressing a point. if u feel strong enough about something , u will do watever takes to get that. i get so wryed that u dont wanna be with me and ur forcing it 2 make me happy. i just want u happy, i dont care wat happens to me, i care what happens to you because u have more of my heart then i have myself. its alwaysgonna be a rollar coaster with us , nothing but ups and downs but theres a reason u got on that roller coaster and it wasnt because u wanted to puke. u did it for the ride , u might get off happy at the fact that it was so much fun or p.o like t.o becuase u waited in line for 5 seconds of crap. but if theres a down in a ride u cant just say ok im jumping off rite now because the ride is still going whether u stay on or not. u say cherish wat u have, well im waiting..... 4 u kim i have all the time in the world. understand wat im saying...... i dont wanna lose u and i said something because i thought it was what u wanted. i guessed wrong, but its funny how u say that that bothers u and if it does like u say. think about how i felt when u dumped me, i didnt do that 2 u because i dont want u to feel the pain. really, i have no reason to.... i dont want to get even with u, theres no point. this is my second chance to prove something to u but the only problom is other people are notciing it more than u are. when i asked u out , i wasnt ready 4 a girlfriend but i did it anyway and when i did , i figured out that i had a responibiliaty to u. but uve changed my life so much in a good way and u tell me to look at the postive side but u have to do the same thing 2. the postive side is u kim so if something goes wrong withu , there is no postive side, without u i have no heart. no one can replace u and uve done so many stupid things that still bother me but i rather not bring it up. but i still love u, isnt that the postive side? i try more than u think, i call more than u know, i think about u more than u can imagine, i love u more than anyone. theres not alot of people who is gonna argue that with me. a real friend is one who is willing to take any risk as long as it benefits the friend. i will do anything that benefits u. i get so jealous at u and ur friends, sometimes i wish i could just be one of them so i could get the time and the attention they get. u make boyfrind look like a degrade to friend and thats y i wanted to be friends so i could upgrade. so much power ur friends have over u and its u job to find the balance. the only reason a person finds a way oout of trouble is because there in trouble to begin with. who says that im always gonna be around...... but that day i walk out the door u cant say to urself" why?" u have to say i did wat i did because i wanted to. if that was to happen right now, would u be happy with how u treated me? if not then its ur job to make urself feel differnt. i only have but one regret that i wished i would have known u longer because theres only one kim and thats whhy i love her so much. u could do all ur work in math class but if u dont turn it in u aint getting any credit but u still did it. thats how i feel, u know uve done all ur work but i dont because u dont turn it in to me. trust....something i worked so hard 4 and to be lost over a lie. remeber that no one will ever have wat we have because its special. we have a bond that no one wil ever understand, sometimes the bond is arguing but it still counts. i just want u to know how much i feel 4 u. its takes us both to make this work, if u put in a half ass job, thats gonna be uur result, a half ass product. what do u wanna put in? it could be so much better and u know that. why are we settling for less? |
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| good day..........good day indeed(happy birthday ashlie) |
[May. 14th, 2005|12:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  life is good. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
wow lots of fun at christys party i gotta say. stress free and a blast. i mean except the yadiris and diego shyt cause it bothers me. i was thinking today about those rose centerpieces that shot those fireworks when they showed chrisy. i was thinking wat if someoe was like hey nice roses and they start touching em and then it goes off, that would be ilarious. so after the party me, diego and fausto went to the gas station 4 slushie but they didnt have any so i bought bannana milk and pop tarts, but we still wanted slushies. so we went 2 7 eleven and i bought one of those 1,000 oz slushies and now im sick cause i drank bannana milk and the slushie i drank was sour watermelon.but im hyper a fuck caus that some fucked up shyt i mixed in my stomach. now im just chillin watching "welcome to mosseport". its good. well if anyone needs me calll the cell at 754-581-3699. HAPPY BIRTHHDAY ASHLIE call me and i might sing a song.......key word..........might. well hope everyone is having fun! go heat lose tonight so i can get more tickets. " they be calling" peace nigga's much love. |
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| my day |
[May. 13th, 2005|03:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  its hot as a motherfucker!!! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ruff ryders(old school) | ] |
| see i hate my first hr teacher so my friend had a digital camera and we decided to catch her making a stupid face and make shirts. so i had to be the one to make my teacher laugh so i said so stupid story to her and we caught her making the stupidest face it was hilarious, and now we all ordered the t-shirts, its gonna be awesome. well in 2nd hr we had a free day so i celbrated by sleeping, yes i know education at its finest. then i asked mr.schletter if i could play mello 4 marching band and he said fuck no, and i said wat can i play then, and like a smart ass hes like bari sax or bari sax and bari sax and i walked out and said i better get woodwind captain.........bitch. in 3rd hr i played horrible basketball and i wanted to cry. 4th hr i had to watch some group do a presentation. g2g laterz |
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| at school |
[May. 12th, 2005|02:29 pm] |
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im at school, 4th hr watching 101 dalmations, its the shizzy. so yea band is gonna be great except i really dont wanna play bari sax 4 my senior year. i need to do my woodwind captain paper cause its due on monday. im really sad cause this is gonna be my last marching band show. i will miss it and it really hasnt even started but thanks every 1 4 the good times. |
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